As one might expect, learning how to walk again after losing a foot and months of bedrest requires serious dedication to one’s physical therapy and workout regime. I’m not gonna post my routine here; suffice it to say it’s long, it’s intense, and when I gave my physical therapist the entire list, he decided he was gonna have to get more on top of his own routine.
But the necessity of fitness to truly manage my ability to walk and function properly aside, it’s not always easy to motivate. I’ve been struggling with some brutal depression, incredible amounts of stress from external, unavoidable issues, and the fact that I’ve only had months to even begin to get used to this new body of mine (for those of you not keeping track, my foot was amputated at the end of January this year).
The songs I use for my workout help me a great deal, and I’m gonna share my top 5—the ones that can get me through ANY workout, and why. I’d love to know yours, too.
1. Stronger, Kanye West
I’ve always thrown shade at the idea that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger—sometimes it just scars the shit out of you. But I’ve had to hold onto the idea pretty hard to help me get through this experience. It’s also a good reminder when I am 45 seconds into a weighted plank.
2. Killing in the Name Of, Rage Against the Machine
I’m already filled with rage about race in this country, and this song really gets me going when I need the adrenaline to push harder. ALSO? Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me.
3. Fighter, Christina Aguilera
This one is partially directed at the universe in general, and at a former friend who managed to betray my trust and friendship so awfully and so thoroughly in the months immediately following my injury and amputation that I’m still blown away by it. Anger makes for a fantastic workout, but so does the knowledge that nothing can stop you, not even unbelievably false friends.
4. More Human Than Human, White Zombie
“I have a fucking robot leg,” I tell myself as the sweat gets in my eyes and I begin to flag. “I can fucking do this.” This song is unrelenting and there are times I just have it on repeat if I am doing something I don’t think I can get through otherwise.
5. Lose Yourself, Eminem
“Success is my only muthafuckin’ option, failure’s not.”