Typically narcissistic blogging.

The Job Hunt, Part I

Getting up in the morning and finding motivation to look for work is increasingly difficult.

The job market is beyond brutal right now. With so many candidates out there who have all the experience and certification they need for the majority of the positions that have been listed, getting a foot in the door when the best you can offer is being way overeducated, smart, and charmingly witty is nearly impossible. No matter how amazing you might be at the job.

It’s tempting to give in to despair. Or to edit my cover letter so that it says,

To Whom It May Concern:

I’m pretty sure you have already tossed my resume in your recycle bin because you have received 250 resumes from people with far more experience in the field. But if you are taking the time to read this–I’m rad. I mean, really. I’m not only brilliant, but I’m hilarious, and I come with a strong work ethic that gets stronger the better you pay me. Additionally, I can play, like, five songs on the guitar with an average of 1-4 mistakes made per song, and I have a nice singing voice once I’ve had my coffee.

Hire me. I’d be extremely grateful, and you know what they say about gratitude…

Sincerely,

Whiskeypants

Since I can’t further jeopardize what little employability I have by hoping Human Resources has a sense of humor, I must find ways to teeter back from the Stokeresque precipice of doom—complete with bloodsucking fiends—that is Craigslist these days.

To be continued…

2 responses

  1. thepastryfascist

    hahah, that would be an awesome cover letter and if I was the HR person reading that I would at the very least call you in for an interview.

    September 8, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    • I’d consider giving it a try…except that I don’t want to end up like Alexei Vayner in any way shape or form.

      September 8, 2010 at 8:29 pm

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