Typically narcissistic blogging.

Columbus Day Deals

A number of emails have arrived in my inbox promising me some kind of sale for Columbus Day, or a percentage off the total if I put in the code: Columbus[n number]. But what kind of deals and excitement do you suppose might have been offered back in the 15th century? Let’s explore:

  1. Buy two slaves, get one of equal or lesser value free!
  2. Tired of being sidelined? Bring your own machete and cut off the hands of anybody who shows up without gold–affordable fun for the whole family!
  3. 10% off indigenous girls under 12 for the discriminating shopper. Mention code: Conquistador.
  4. Pillage the village! Find a coupon for 20% off in your wine jar.
  5. Natives pissing you off? Learn how to remove ears and noses in this introductory class, only 5 blanca while this offer lasts.
  6. 80% off the indigenous population. Mention code: Columbus1492.

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