Once More Into the Breach
Not too long ago, the so-called handyman employed by my landlord installed some newish cabinets, a new sink, and a new counter in my kitchen. He also moved my stove across the kitchen. In the process, the jackass not only managed to leave several holes to the outside world in my wall, he totally failed to assemble any part of the new cabinetry or countertop in such a way that any of it was sealed up, thus leaving my kitchen extremely vulnerable to the greatest enemy of mankind (besides mankind itself): ANTS.
They have invaded my kitchen, gentle reader, and they have brought great armies, armies that might have actually gotten Alexander through India, that the Romans would have envied, that might have changed the tide for Marc Antony and Cleopatra—had they just managed to harness how incredibly fucking annoying the little bastards are. Yeah, take that Octavian, you weasel. Ants.
So, I am waging war. I have at my disposal:
- Duct tape
- Drywall materials
- Various bug killing things that won’t kill my cat
- Rage and determination
They have at their disposal: MORE ANTS.
They are winning.